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Length of Days - Search for Freedom

Monday, July 9, 2012


"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8 (NIV © 1984)

Why does the house still look like a mess hours after you started cleaning it? Because, you’re not done yet. That’s how it is with our lives. God knows that your life may still be in shambles even after you have given your life over to Him. To others, you may still look stained and broken. To God, you are an image of His glory and grace. Even after your life has been scrubbed clean by the Holy blood of Jesus Christ, family and "friends" may still hang onto the old-you they had known before Jesus entered your life. Why? Because they had learned where they fit into your unhealthy relationship with them.

Some people only want relationships in which they are the strong one, the one-up position. Your friendship with them may be altered beyond their ability to adjust, if they have to accept you as their equal.

There are those who actually seek relationships in which they are the needy one, the one-down position. If they have seen you as weak like them, your growing confidence may chase them away. Or, as you get stronger, they may be become weaker and cling to you even more. While you are growing in strength, it may not be possible for you to carry your own weight plus the deadweight of someone who will not hold up their own side of the relationship.

Others are willing to have an equal, healthy relationship with you. Others are not. As you let God’s love strengthen and heal you, there may be some who cannot or will not adjust their relationship with you to form a new, equal one. They may be insecure and need to be one-up on everyone in order to feel superior, since they actually feel inferior deep within. They may even attempt to sabotage your growth in order to "keep you in your place." However, your place is beside God and no one can give you permission to walk that path with the Lord. That is a bond between you and God. Your earthy relationships will only go forward with those who will allow themselves to grow as they witness your own healing.

If the cobwebs of your life are still showing, wear them as prayer-lace to the glory of God. For, He loves you just the way you are, and too much to let you stay that way. Let us pray:

"Father of us all, the one-uppers, the one-downers, and those you seek equal relationships with others, we praise your Holy name. Precious are you and your son Jesus. We come into your holy presence and ask that you seek us in the dark corners of our souls and clean out all the dirt that hides there. We want not to be one-up on anyone and, because of you, we are one-down to no one. We seek to shake the hand of all those along our path and see them as equals made possible by the crown of glory you place on all who believe. Forgive us when we try to hold others down in order to lift us up. When we do that, we only reveal our fear to a world that feeds on the fear of others like nectar from black flowers. We are both the one who is in the process of change and the one who can lift others out of soul-pain and into your light. Let us walk with you in our new life and recognize those who would cause us to stumble along our way. May we love them completely so that their lives may change as well. In the name of Jesus our Lord I pray. Amen"

"God gives us stories that testify to His love. Let me tell you mine." 
Copyright 2012 Doris Gaines Rapp

Look us Transactional Analysis for other information on one-up, one-down and equal relationships.

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